Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
