dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
