i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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