Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
