If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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