who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
