I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
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