This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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