I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
