Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I will be naked everywhere
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
