So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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