I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
