Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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