Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
