the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
