i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
