I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
