I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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