found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize