I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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