You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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