Christians are straight up FREAKS
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
