Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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