it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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