Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
whose parrot is this?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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