He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
