4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
