Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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