I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize