I heard we made out
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Randomize
