Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
