Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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