I just saw a hot homeless man
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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