So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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