didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize