I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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