you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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