I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
