All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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