Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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