I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
