Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize