so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
we're so committed to being not committed
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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