i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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