Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
