Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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