question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
