Just cropdusted the office
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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