Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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