she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
