so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
