He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
