there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
