Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
