I hope mine doesn't look like that
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You took a bar mat shot.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
