we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
