did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
