Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
