Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
