um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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