Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
