Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
