So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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