Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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