I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
