she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
