i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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